Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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