Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
