Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
