I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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