he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
