i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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