Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
