Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
