I wannas sexs uuuuu
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
