I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
