You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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