He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
