I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
