how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
this is an emotional support booty call
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
