I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
