I seem to have left my pride at pride
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
