and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
