i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
