We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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