Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
