Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
