Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
