Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
