Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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