the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
