this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
