We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
