Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
