Sponge bath it is.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
