She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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