You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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