mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
