This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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