Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize