I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
