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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
