just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize