U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
