I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
