shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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