wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
