That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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