The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
