the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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