i think my tv is drunk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
