Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize