You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
