is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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