He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize