I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
