Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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