OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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