OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
