in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
