Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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