fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
