This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize