This is not my ceiling
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
