I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
false alarm. still invincible.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
