I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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