I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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