I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
